Tonight, I'm sitting under my mosquito net, Googling "stinging caterpillars." I'm always learning something new - usually out of necessity. This evening, I narrowly rescued Baby from a "bad" caterpillar that was making a bee-line for him. This is the prickly caterpillar that people here fear greatly. Fear almost as much as snakes... but not quite... nothing tops a snake.
After I kicked the prickly caterpillar away and snatched the baby to the sound of Christine exclaiming about the dangers of that caterpillar, the caterpillar kindly obliged and curled up into a ball waiting patiently until I could find something to kill it with. I then scolded each of my other children for not wearing their shoes outside (again) and made baby play next to me for the rest of the day...
As if I am in control....
Yesterday, I lost him twice. And silently freaked out. And got silently angry at the teenagers and adults in my household for letting him get out of their sight. And beat myself up for the near-death experiences that he surely had when he wandered away from me...
As if I am in control...
Today, I lost him (only once!) to the bathroom (i.e. yucky danger room) while I was occupied feeding Gracie. And I then strapped him to my back for the rest of the day...
As if I am in control...
But here's the good news: I'm not in control.
Although I forget this daily, my children's survival in this dangerous world does not rest on my shoulders.
I live for a God who is BIGGER than stinging caterpillars, bigger than snakes, bigger than yucky danger rooms, bigger than roads, water, cars, rocks, trees... bigger than all the things that can harm my children. In fact, He's IN CHARGE of all the things that can harm my children. In fact, He CREATED and SUSTAINS my children.
This is particularly significant for those of us who have children with special needs. Me being awake all night will not keep Gracie alive if God decides that it's time for her to be home with him. Me being asleep at night will not surprise God and cost Gracie her life prematurely.
This is significant for moms of any number or age of children. GOD IS BIGGER, BIGGEST, CREATOR, and SUSTAINER.
Let that be our hope, our glory, our peace, our joy, our satisfaction.
In the meantime, pray that I will survive Baby's new found independent streak, find myself trusting more in Christ, and being wise!
After I kicked the prickly caterpillar away and snatched the baby to the sound of Christine exclaiming about the dangers of that caterpillar, the caterpillar kindly obliged and curled up into a ball waiting patiently until I could find something to kill it with. I then scolded each of my other children for not wearing their shoes outside (again) and made baby play next to me for the rest of the day...
As if I am in control....
Yesterday, I lost him twice. And silently freaked out. And got silently angry at the teenagers and adults in my household for letting him get out of their sight. And beat myself up for the near-death experiences that he surely had when he wandered away from me...
As if I am in control...
Today, I lost him (only once!) to the bathroom (i.e. yucky danger room) while I was occupied feeding Gracie. And I then strapped him to my back for the rest of the day...
As if I am in control...
But here's the good news: I'm not in control.
Although I forget this daily, my children's survival in this dangerous world does not rest on my shoulders.
I live for a God who is BIGGER than stinging caterpillars, bigger than snakes, bigger than yucky danger rooms, bigger than roads, water, cars, rocks, trees... bigger than all the things that can harm my children. In fact, He's IN CHARGE of all the things that can harm my children. In fact, He CREATED and SUSTAINS my children.
This is particularly significant for those of us who have children with special needs. Me being awake all night will not keep Gracie alive if God decides that it's time for her to be home with him. Me being asleep at night will not surprise God and cost Gracie her life prematurely.
This is significant for moms of any number or age of children. GOD IS BIGGER, BIGGEST, CREATOR, and SUSTAINER.
Let that be our hope, our glory, our peace, our joy, our satisfaction.
In the meantime, pray that I will survive Baby's new found independent streak, find myself trusting more in Christ, and being wise!
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