(Cooking with my extremely messy boy!)
If we were doing an international adoption in the USA, we'd have the "luxury" of hibernating as we get Moses settled... at least for some time.
Although our friends are interested in learning about our different child-rearing (i.e. discipleship and sheparding) concepts, it's still a foreign concept to make sacrifices in our day in order to train our children. And, as many of you know, any adoption takes lots of intense training and time.
I got the chance to take Moses out on a date today - just me and him at the coffee shop. We ran into a friend there who asked if Moses is a "quality time" kind of kid... I had to think hard about that... No, I think he's a quality-quantity kind of kid... i.e. very intense at this time!
I have intentionally spent good snuggle time and reading time with Moses, hoping to see him demonstrating less insecurity... no immediate results! (yes, I know over time it'll pay off, but as a mom of four young children, I'd love to see immediate results - haha!)
Instead, I need to structure every moment of his life - every second of his life. If I let my guard down for a moment, chaos ensues. If I allow myself to overlook any tiny disobedience, defiance spins out of control. (For all the children, not just Moses.)
There have been so many times in the last three months that I have had to say "no" to opportunities because my children have needed a highly structured life and constant training - chances to hang out with missionary moms, times to play at Home of Love, meetings, etc. Missionary moms understand. Acholi friends do not understand.
Yes, these insecure behaviors are normal and expected as this precious child adjusts to life in a family, life in English, life in ministry...
And Acholi children (in general) are allowed to be very disrespectful to women, especially, so my struggle to have a voice in his life (much improving, by the way!) is normal...
But it doesn't mean that we can overlook these behaviors. THIS is the intense time of training - an opportunity not to be missed. THIS is the foundation time for the rest of his life.
Needless to say, I hit the sack as soon as the children are quiet in their beds at night!
This is school holiday right now, so Home of Love children are home during the day and we have the opportunity to be providing activities for their discipleship and learning outside of school. We can't just hibernate. Last week we did a Vacation Bible School at Home of Love. This week we're doing small group discipleship with the older girls by having them come to our house for cooking lessons during the day. And we shower reassurance and love on all our children as we move forward with at least SOME of "daily" life, constantly reevaluating to make sure that we're not stretching Moses beyond his capacity.
No hibernating - but life sure does look different these days than my breakneck speed of life a year ago with only 3 children!
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