Many missionaries around the world hire house help.
WHAT?!
It can be very uncomfortable, at least for Americans.
How can I ask someone else to wash my dishes and mop my floor? How can I ask someone else to do things that I don't enjoy doing, like hanging the laundry in the hot sun and cleaning bathrooms?
The reality is that hiring house help is often the right thing to do. Here are a few reasons:
1) The requests for financial assistance are unending. Not a week goes by that our gate man doesn't let someone in to ask me for money. By hiring a trusted person to help in my house, I'm giving her an income and contributing to the local economy. In some communities, it's almost expected that the missionary will hire someone(s) as a contribution to the community.
2) Discipleship happens in the home. My helper is a born-again Christian and is eager to talk about things of the Lord. She's interested in how we raise our children and train them, instead of letting them run wild. Although the two of us stay busy, we usually have at least one conversation a day that points to the Lord. As our relationship deepens, we've been able to talk about God's role and view on marriage, family, orphans, schooling, church, health and wealth teaching (prominent in Uganda), etc. Her son spent much of his "summer" holiday with us, playing with our children, doing homeschool work with us, etc.
3) Everything is a lot of work here. Everything is made from scratch, the water often has to be hauled in buckets to do the laundry or dishes, the floor is always dirty from the desert sand/dust that is blowing our way, 3 children in cloth diapers have a way of producing more and more diapers... If Christine wasn't helping me, I couldn't do any ministry. Last week, she was away. I was very pleased that I not only survived, but the family ate well, and the house stayed clean. (This was only my second time without help since the baby was born.) BUT, no homeschooling happened and I didn't leave the house. I still fielded medical phone calls, up to my neck in crying children, and I still had lots of people pouring through our home. My administrative tasks fell to the wayside and I didn't see Home of Love all week.
4) Learning. I have learned so much from Christine and from my other helpers over the last year and a half. I intentional spend time asking questions about how they view things, about how they do things, and about language. We laugh together over the strange ways that us mzungus do things. As my priority is on the home and making the home a place of peace and rest for my husband, I have my own culture and language teachers right here with me.
5) I am still responsible to run my household. In fact, having someone else help me with housework requires me to be much more intentional about running my household. I have to plan ahead, think through schedules, and not just randomly keep house. It's up to me to run the household smoothly and prepare it for my husband and children. I DO struggle with guilt in not doing all the work myself and my goal is to get to the point where I can ask Christine to watch the children while I study the Bible - there's something about having someone else do what I am "supposed to be doing" that makes it difficult for me to focus, rest quietly, and meditate on God's words. There is a sinful pride in me that wants to be all and do all for my family. But, as I work through these aspects, I also work through what it means to run the household, plan meals, plan cleaning, plan teaching, plan shopping. I'm able to focus more on meeting Josh's needs rather than running so hard that I don't even notice when he comes home.
I've had Christine teach my children some things, like how to "pick" bo (pick the leaves off stems of a popular edible green leafy), shell ground nuts, and even do dishes. I lurk around while she's teaching them and coach the children in listening, follow her instruction, working hard, and being respectful. It's a great opportunity for them to interact one-on-one with an adult besides me in a controlled and teachable situation!
There are so many things about this culture that are so very different from Western culture - and this is one of them!
WHAT?!
It can be very uncomfortable, at least for Americans.
How can I ask someone else to wash my dishes and mop my floor? How can I ask someone else to do things that I don't enjoy doing, like hanging the laundry in the hot sun and cleaning bathrooms?
The reality is that hiring house help is often the right thing to do. Here are a few reasons:
1) The requests for financial assistance are unending. Not a week goes by that our gate man doesn't let someone in to ask me for money. By hiring a trusted person to help in my house, I'm giving her an income and contributing to the local economy. In some communities, it's almost expected that the missionary will hire someone(s) as a contribution to the community.
2) Discipleship happens in the home. My helper is a born-again Christian and is eager to talk about things of the Lord. She's interested in how we raise our children and train them, instead of letting them run wild. Although the two of us stay busy, we usually have at least one conversation a day that points to the Lord. As our relationship deepens, we've been able to talk about God's role and view on marriage, family, orphans, schooling, church, health and wealth teaching (prominent in Uganda), etc. Her son spent much of his "summer" holiday with us, playing with our children, doing homeschool work with us, etc.
3) Everything is a lot of work here. Everything is made from scratch, the water often has to be hauled in buckets to do the laundry or dishes, the floor is always dirty from the desert sand/dust that is blowing our way, 3 children in cloth diapers have a way of producing more and more diapers... If Christine wasn't helping me, I couldn't do any ministry. Last week, she was away. I was very pleased that I not only survived, but the family ate well, and the house stayed clean. (This was only my second time without help since the baby was born.) BUT, no homeschooling happened and I didn't leave the house. I still fielded medical phone calls, up to my neck in crying children, and I still had lots of people pouring through our home. My administrative tasks fell to the wayside and I didn't see Home of Love all week.
4) Learning. I have learned so much from Christine and from my other helpers over the last year and a half. I intentional spend time asking questions about how they view things, about how they do things, and about language. We laugh together over the strange ways that us mzungus do things. As my priority is on the home and making the home a place of peace and rest for my husband, I have my own culture and language teachers right here with me.
5) I am still responsible to run my household. In fact, having someone else help me with housework requires me to be much more intentional about running my household. I have to plan ahead, think through schedules, and not just randomly keep house. It's up to me to run the household smoothly and prepare it for my husband and children. I DO struggle with guilt in not doing all the work myself and my goal is to get to the point where I can ask Christine to watch the children while I study the Bible - there's something about having someone else do what I am "supposed to be doing" that makes it difficult for me to focus, rest quietly, and meditate on God's words. There is a sinful pride in me that wants to be all and do all for my family. But, as I work through these aspects, I also work through what it means to run the household, plan meals, plan cleaning, plan teaching, plan shopping. I'm able to focus more on meeting Josh's needs rather than running so hard that I don't even notice when he comes home.
I've had Christine teach my children some things, like how to "pick" bo (pick the leaves off stems of a popular edible green leafy), shell ground nuts, and even do dishes. I lurk around while she's teaching them and coach the children in listening, follow her instruction, working hard, and being respectful. It's a great opportunity for them to interact one-on-one with an adult besides me in a controlled and teachable situation!
There are so many things about this culture that are so very different from Western culture - and this is one of them!
Comments
I'm not a missionary, and I have an au pair to help me. God bless you for writing this post. There are so many people out there who think that a Mum should do it all herself. But as you say, how would you do anything for your ministry if not for Christine's help!?!
May God bless your family's relationship with her and her son.
Much love always,
Ann