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The baby complex

(I want to blog a bit about Moses since his adoption into our family is somewhat unique: adoption from an orphanage that we continue to be fully involved with, living in his same community with his same friends. There is little written about "these types" of situations, so I pray that by sharing some of our journey with Moses, maybe I can encourage other families who are in this unique situation!)

Moses was the baby at Home of Love. In fact, at the age of 4-5 years, he only lost the nickname "Baby" a few months ago when he started being called "Oyuba" (part of his Acholi name).

Now, suddenly, he's the second oldest in a family of almost five children.

He smothers "Baby Noah" (as he calls him) with way too much brotherly love and attention and loves being big brother to him. But we have had major breakdowns over one simple thing: getting dressed. Yes, the mean mommy that I am, I make him put on his own clothes. I help with buttons and tight collars and zippers. But the 4 and 5 year olds in our household need to put forth a good effort to dress themselves.

After the first few weeks of novelty wore off, this has become a source of insecurity for Moses. He loves helping like a big kid with clearing the table, setting up for meals, caring for Noah (!!!), gardening, and everything else under the sun... except putting on his shirt.

So... I have spent hours holding a weeping half-naked child who finally relents and puts on his own shirt. It has given me the opportunity to snuggle, hug, and love on him. It has given me the opportunity to stand firm and not be manipulated. It has given me the opportunity to be consistent. And it has taken everything in me to not reach over and tug that shirt over his precious head. I have to remind myself that my job is to teach him to respect and obey me and learn to trust that I know his limits and won't ask him to do something beyond his abilities. Just like our Heavenly Father!

Don't worry, we find other ways to lavish attention and love on him... we're quite an affectionate family!

"Baby" has started saying, in a lilting half-swallowed accent, "May I have more please?" and "May I -excused- please?" and "Thank you!" spontaneously on his own as he grows in leaps and bounds. He and Ana share inside jokes from being at school together. And he loves making Gracie laugh and "talk." What a precious addition to our family!

Even when he's half-naked.

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