Rattins living Coram Deo

Well, the house is a mess, the laundry has been shipped to Grandma's house, the clean laundry (which Grandma also did) is still in piles, the oldest daughter is whining about everything, the littlest daughter must be entering a growth spurt because she is constantly hungry. We had an appointment every single day this week (starting last week while I was still in the hospital!) for one of the two girls. Having a child with special needs AND a newborn is a challenge... but then I picked up the LifeLines that Bethany Christian Services puts out and I read about a family with 3 kids with Down's syndrome and a toddler and a pre-teen. They homeschool, their kids have a range of special needs, some life threatening conditions that require constant vigilence. And I'm bent out of shape caring for two kids? One newbor n who just needs to be warm, clean, and fed, one delightful 4 year old who is nonverbal, nonambulatory but really just needs a lots of kisses, hugs, and reassurance, co...

Ana is back up to birth weight after some weight loss and breastfeeding struggles. I'm still struggling with breastfeeding, but she's getting plenty of milk now, so one less stressor! Please pray for us as we adjust and as God works in our life as a family. We long to truly be passionate for His glory and Gospel, but so often fall short. We appreciate your prayers! Gracie is adjusting well - definitely jealous at times but loves kissing her sister and holding her!

Ana Gail Rattin (pronounced Ah-nah) Born December 5th, 2007 at 5:35pm at 42 weeks weighing 7lb 8oz, 21 3/4 inches long Some adventures at birth, but everyone's doing great now! Read Luke 2:36-38!

Happy Birthday, sweet Gracie! Mama's 41 weeks and 6 days pregnant - induction starts tonight - shared birthday perhaps? ;-) You know you're too pregnant when you no longer need a table for your bowl of soup! Gracie has lots of skills that she likes to show off, but her new favorite is clapping her hands!

Please pray that we have our baby soon - we're scheduled for induction 12/4/07-12/5/07 but we'd really like to have her before then. We never thought we'd go two weeks late!!

Little one just doesn't want to come out! ;-) 3 days overdue feels like a week ... We celebrated 1 year together on Thanksgiving! Gracie is so precious! More seizures unfortunately - right sided partial focal with paralysis afterwards (scary looking!) and she was not post-ictal - very strange! I felt so bad giving her diazepam to sedate her when she was awake and playing with us but the seizures just wouldn't stop. God is good - He has given us a sixth sense when something is wrong and even though her last two seizures were very subtle and quiet, we were uneasy all night and so were checking on Gracie frequently - God equips parents according to the needs! I'm a little lacking on sleep between pregnancy hormones and being attentive to the baby monitor by my head listening for Gracie's breathing... 'yawn'... okay, a lot lacking in sleep, but we'll survive!

Gracie got medicaid! Now we can move forward with getting her some equipment and more services! Praise God!!

She just wow'ed us with this! Who would have thought! More seizures this week - bummer! Pray for our little friend, Josie, who is having lots of struggles - http://josiecomehome.blogspot.com/

Gracie had a modified barium swallow on Tuesday (cool study if you've never seen one - real time xrays - she looked like a little dinosaur eating radioactive substances!). She did awesome and charmed everyone with constant giggling during the test. The good news is that she's not aspirating. The bad news is that she's not chewing very much and she doesn't trigger a swallow until just past the opening to her airway. SO, she's relegated to pureed foods! It's disappointing and a life-style change in a bit of stressful time of life, so I'm struggling with it a bit. For a kid who loves to eat it doesn't seem very pleasant to only get purees now. Plus, she's been gaining weight so beautifully on a regular diet... Pray for us (me) as we adjust and figure out our system. (at least she's still allowed rice with sauce - her favorite!)

We are SO thrilled with Gracie's school. Josh and I both spent a day there this week and it is so amazing that we are eager to send our little 3.5 year old to public school every day! Her 2.5 hours in school are packed full of things that we can't provide at home - PT, OT, speech, a consistent approach, one-on-one consistent attention and coaching, other kids, tons of toys, crafts, stories, ABC's, days of the week, colors, routine tasks, songs... Everything that she does in preschool develops her skills more and more. Her para, Kelly, is so patient, consistent, and kind with her - she makes her work hard, she doesn't do a THING for her that Gracie can do for herself and Gracie knows it so she works hard for her! her therapists love her and are so excited with her. They have learned her so well that they know how to motivate her, they know that when she's hungry she's a bear, they know that she loves taking things out of containers and loves things that make nois...

Beth had her baby (the "prego" on the far right in the photo) so that means that we're only 2 months away from ours! Caleb Murray! I'm most discouraged by the weekly screaming sessions that we have over Gracie's hair. She still screams bloody murder at any touch of her head that resembles fixing her hair. She's got lovely hair, but most of the time it looks messy because the screaming is so tiring that I can't handle it frequently, not to mention the fact that even nightly touch-ups and oiling invoke screaming so that my precious 1.5 hours with her in the evening are not spent playing or snuggling but rather her yelling and screaming and looking at me with pitiful eyes. Not quite the mommy-daughter bonding that I cherish. I bought an organic olive oil spray which helps (less hands-on the scalp) but I still need to fix her hair well once a week and that just wipes me out. Good thing that she loves bath time which preceeds hair fixing! Please pray that Graci...

Gracie was back to regular school this week. We really love her school and she seems to really enjoy the 2.5 hours a day of preschool and therapies. Some of her therapists and teachers hadn't seen her all summer so it was so rewarding to hear everyone's shock and amazement and encouragement at how much she has grown physically, socially, emotionally, and developmentally. She is doing so much more now than she was just in June and is so much more assertive (good and bad!). It was very exciting for us to hear their excitement about our precious little girl. She's doing great sleeping on her own, still has rough nights (what kid doesn't?!) and her pediatrician yesterday said, "just let her cry! that's normal!" Ok, okay. So I'm a strict mom during the day but due to my own need to be there for her if she seizes, I'm a little more jumpy at night when she's not under anyone's direct supervision for a whole 8 hours at a stretch! She still often ha...

29 weeks pregnant, flanked by my fellow "pregos" at church - Wanda is 22 weeks, Beth is 37 week!

Gracie kicking around "on her own" in the swimming pool - think she likes the water?! Can't quite tell from the huge grin on her beautiful face! Gracie sleeping peacefully in her own room and bed.

We had our first successful night of Gracie sleeping in her OWN room by herself. Gracie OUT of our bed, in her big girl bed! Moma slept, Gracie slept, and mama and daddy were very happy to have a bed to ourselves! I only had to get up twice for her, both just little visits to put her in a new position when she was whining and couldn't get herself back to sleep. I know this was only the first night, but a big step for all of us!

We finally had opportunity to visit the Ruhls in Minnesota - it was SO fun to spend time with their 4 beautiful children, introduce Gracie, meet more of their church family, and of course, spend time with Gregg and Dianne. Gracie and Ruhls' kids got along famously - she's just half a year younger than little Abby who was so sweet to her. Katie is an excellent big sister and loves taking care of children with special needs - she was so attentive and competent with Gracie. Jacob and David enjoyed Gracie's love for rough housing and making her giggle. She got lots of love and attention and also made some milestone leaps in the company of such amazing kids. She kicked around BY HERSELF (with a head supporting life jacket) in the pool purposefully, she lifted one leg at a time to get her shoes on, and she played with the kids beautifully! She especially enjoyed the yard complete with playground equipment and giggled hysterically at the boys catching her at the bottom of the slid...

Gracie's in summer school - she has to be there by 8:00am.... a tall order for a child who would rather stay up late into the night and sleep in till 10:00am. Her muscles don't even work until 9:00am, let alone coordinate enough to eat breakfast... but she's getting there! She starting to wake up on her own by 6:15, although she'll fall back to sleep as long as we let her sleep. The other room is actually a bedroom now! Gracie's got a bed and the crib is now in there - it looks great! however, Gracie's still in our bed... 'sigh'... her seizures still aren't controlled so I'm still nervous about putting her in the other room. Part of me also likes being close to her since I'm not with her all day long, sometimes 7 days a week. Last week, she has a completely silent seizure (like an absence seizure), so now she's shown me that she can seize without making ANY noise to be picked up on a monitor to wake me up... 'sigh.' The amazing...

Ultrasound reveals that our new little one is likely a girl! We're glad to be able to tell Gracie about her baby sister now and we're working on names! I feel great these days - no more all day nausea/vomiting and I'm finally gaining weight at 20 weeks. Gracie updates: - She is doing very well sitting up. - She has been holding herself on all fours and rocking back and forth but no crawling yet- this is a huge advance! - She's rolling all over the place and understands that she can get different places by rolling around! HUGE! - She's starting to really walk on her tip toes so we're concerned about her achilles spasm - we're waiting for her new orthotics (her old ones are so tiny on her it's comical!) and she'll be back in school/PT/OT next week. We're focusing on stretching, but please pray for this! - She is on a new med (Keppra) for seizures and we're about to wean off Trileptal to see if that controls her seizures better. - She's pus...

Gracie has entered a new developmental stage. She now is active and has been rolling all over the floor. We cleared out a little living room so that she would have room to roll around - she's rolling front to back, both directions. She also has been much easier to get up on all fours - it used to take 3-4 adults to cram her into the crawling position due to her resistance. She now even spontaneously gets into a semi-crawling position on her own. In the crawling position she's been weight bearing even on her right arm (but always in combination with her left arm). She also has been rocking a little in the crawling position as if she gets it that this is a way that you can move! It's been so exciting. But it also makes her much more eager to be down with other kids and moving around. She's in a very active active stage, always moving, and wanting to move. She's also taken, not just a huge interest in other kids, but also interest in toys a bit more. She's so fun!

Gracie is enjoying preschool through the public school 2.5 hours a day 4 days a week. She is a busy and popular girl rotating through physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, the classroom, and the playground, all with her wonderful one-on-one Kelly. The other kids seem to enjoy her and she of course loves all the attention and stimulation! We received a wheelchair from Shriner's yesterday - it's awesome! It'll grow with her, it's fairly light weight, it's small, and she sits great in it! We're very excited for this added mobility! Please pray with us that God would provide a new vehicle for us (perhaps a van) since Gracie travels with increasing amount of equipment (and our "Sancho" car is increasingly frustrating).

At the women's retreat for our church (Faith Baptist Church in Hollis, NH), Doreen Campbell said one thing that really stuck in my brain. "The World of God is Living." In other words, it is never stagnant, it can never have been read enough because God is using it to speak to His children. It is never old news, it is a living word! This reminder was enough to finally get me motivated again to strive to have God's word abide in me, LIVE in me, flow out of me. For me to be immersed in His word in a new way. I have been struggling with memorization as my brain seems more and more like a leaky sieve, but I need to keep struggling with it because without memorizing God's precious and living word, it will never abide with me. In young adults' Bible study on Sunday night, we discussed I John 2:12-14 and we noted the progression that young men, in whom the word of God abides, are strong and have overcome the evil one. In other words, without the first step, having...

Gracie has sprouted 2.5 inches and gained 8 pounds in 5 months! She had a slow start, but perhaps getting over Hepatitis A, treating her parasites, and getting her seizures more under control has given her the edge that she needed to turn the massive amounts of food that she can consume into growth! We had her dedication in church in March and my family was able to come up for it. We wore Liberian outfits (except Josh who was preaching that day - he felt he should at least wear a tie!). Gracie spent most of the dedication kissing Grandpa who was dedicating her to the Lord! So cute! We also got to go fishing with Partners in Health - Northeast Passage adapted the fishing pole for her - she had a blast, although we only caught sticks! Grandpa (next to her in the photo) was in heaven, finally taking a grandkid fishing! Finally, with warm weather, we've been able to play at the park. We have a fantastic playground near us - Gracie loves the swing and one of the slides! She's as mu...

Gracie has been doing very well in school - she goes 4 days a week for 2.5 hours to the public school for preschool which includes physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy as well as classroom time using adaptive equipment so that she can participate as fully as possible with the other kids. She has a one-on-one who has been wonderful. Gracie seems to enjoy it, but most importantly she's getting her therapies in and comes home quite tired. Developmentally/physically, she's giving herself her sippy cup on her own without assistance - so nice to have her do something for herself so that we can get some things done! She picks up big crackers off the tray and eats them. She feeds herself with a spoon with assistance. She's getting around in her gait trainer very well and loves to explore the church on her own (so cute!). She's still the belle of the ball at church and her adoring fans give her more attention than she could ever imagine. Just two days ...

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I'd update the world on our princess. Yes, "princess." And she knows it. She definitely needs some siblings to divert some attention! She received her orthotics this week (AFO's are stiff plastic molded braces that start below the knee and end at the toes), so doesn't think she can walk in them so she hobbles stiff legged unless she's excited enough (chasing Daddy) and then she picks her little knees up in the air and lurches forward. Her auntie Amy bought her bright new sneakers (a size bigger) to fit her braces but apparently Gracie thinks they're too heavy because when she's wearing them her right leg REALLY doesn't work! She'll figure it out! She also had a wheelchair fitting and a small wheelchair was chosen to enable her to join other kids in activities and eventually be able to push herself around and transfer in and out of the chair. This is all through Shriner's Hospital in Springfield,...

A friend shared with me how "strange" (and scary) our decisions appear to those observing our lives. Most people are barely surviving residency and then for me to decide to adopt, to decide to adopt a child with special needs, to decide to adopt this child from the uncertainty of Liberia, to decide to start my Master's of Public Health during residency... it all seems crazy and overwhelming to the observer. But what my friend did not take into account is that God's calling on our lives will not always appear sane. Our choices are neither noble nor insane if they are what God has called us to. These choices are simply obedience to sovereign God! We are not living for life in this world, we are in fact aliens to this world and shouldn't settle down and get too comfortable because our joy is in heaven. God calls each of us to "not waste our lives" but live each day with an eternal focus. With an eternal focus, we should not only adopt a child with disabil...

Little Gracie is doing quite well keeping her glasses on and looks so cute in them too! :) She seems to be surviving Mama going back to work and is enjoying her time with Grandma and Daddy. She has been more "needy" of late, but seems to be catching on that Mama can be gone for a few hours and will come home!

We are finally settling into more of a routine - or as much of a routine as possible given that I am still on vacation. Between winter weather, nearly daily doctor's appointments to see every specialty possible, lab visits for lab work, parties, swimming therapy, and church responsibilities, this 3 year old is busy. Through the busy-ness, however, she remains focused on people and loves to spend time with her extended family with periodic huge grins, hugs, snuggles, and slobbery kisses for Mama and Daddy to reconnect in the midst of all her adoring fans. She is learning certain important lessons these days, such as: root for the winning team! Go Patriots!

Gracie decided that the New Year needed a little spice and excitement. So, shortly after 2007 rang in, she had a seizure which then lasted 2.5 hours! She had to be paralyzed and intubated and put on the ventilator and shipped down to Boston Children's Hospital. Needless to say, her family was very concerned and the trip to Boston seemed to last an eternity. At Children's, she was in the medical intensive care unit and spiked temperatures to 105.4 degrees! Poor baby! She had every test in the world done to try to find a source of her infection - nothing has come up yet except that she now has a terrible cold/bronchitis. She only stayed on the ventilator till Monday afternoon and was out of the ICU Tuesday evening. We spent the night on the neurology floor and convinced them to let us go home Wednesday evening - maybe one of the shortest stays in the history of ICU patients at Children's (per the chaplain). Those three plus days in the hospital, mostly in ICU, felt like s...

Gracie is making leaps and bounds daily - it is so rewarding and amazing to watch her develop before our very eyes! She took her first steps the other day (supported) and has been working on feeding herself snacks. She is quite bonded to us and still enjoys meeting new people as long as mama and daddy are around. She is bonding to her grandparents and aunts and uncles with still a clear sense of who her parents are. We have been so blessed by our friends and family - this child will never want for a cute outfit or fun toys while we are in the States! We even are blessed to borrow this gait trainer which will help her learn to walk "on her own" and gain some independence!

The First Rattin Family Christmas photo!